Again

Tonight, i cried again... i don't know how to describe my feeling right now.... and i don't understand what i actually wanted for myself... but i think at least my bf can help me on that... but em, i guess he's not going to do so...haih, does boys always like that? they just want to see how cute you are, how pretty you are and how beautiful and even worst how sexy you are... sometimes,i think about how and why i have to be like this. at first, i should just get over it and just pick the new one... yeah,because they don't even appreciate you. all they know is to comment and keep on saying you should do this on your that, do that on your this and act like this when people say like this... I thought he's not that type but after all what I've been through,plus tonight, i know who he is becoming of... its pissing me off... my heart broken... its like it being punch into a hole.what really people are becoming of when you are just this? i mean i'm just "this", and i cant be " that "...

I might being ungrateful right now but what i feel cant stop myself from saying some ungrateful like this. Do i have to put much efforts on something like that? Do i have to? Now i know that " sincere " is not just the element that you need in relationship. they sometimes need satisfaction. I'm 18 and i think its normal to think of the negative side right now... i always jealous and proud of my friends cause they are having such a big boobs... you know what i mean? and i do have pretty peer that loved by everyone but i dont know how their relationship are but this female booster things is just not my style....Today, my bf keep telling me what is lack in myself... i cant get over it... maybe he's not the one for me and yes maybe i should just let him go.


At first,
he's the one who is saying that he is okay with " this "
Things change and people change,
He is starting to ask for "that"
and i said i just cant be "that"
cause "this" is me and "that" is her,
and so, i said, you can have " that "
and please let me go!