hi guys, i'm here to post something. I hope you guys can leave some comments. So that i know how's your opinions.

Today,when i took dinner with my mom along with my little brother, we talked and discussed something about my future. You might ask why where is my dad... Hee,my dad always take his dinner earlier than anyone of us. Its kinda habit for him... Okay.continue my story. When we ate, i tell mom how scary i am because the SPM results is coming out and its on a date,six days left. My mom said "you'd study and did your best. Besides,you spend most of your time to study,why can't you get good grades?" i was like ... Yeah,mom was right,why i'm freaking scared? I think its common and i believe everyone scares too... Then suddenly,she talked about my boyfriend. She said when i'm going to marry him,i'll know how hard to earn money and what life really is. My head switched to what my best friend had told me yesterday and this evening. Then,i said i'm not going to marry him until every problems that we'd faced are settled. And i added if i really get the chance to study at the unitesity and found someone brilliant and greater than him as well as falling in love with the guy i've met,i'll leave him... Then,my mom was like"why you have to couple with him if you don't want to marry him?" is not that i don't want to marry him,is i'm not guarantee... Things change and people always change. In fact,me and him have to get through a lot of obstacles and circumstances. No one know if we can be together till that day when i'm going to walking through the aisle and say "i do". Then , i replied my mom"mom,i know you like him and i know how much you wish i can marry to him. And i know you care what people are talking about us. Yes,he was always here and everyone saw i'm with him,but it doesn't mean i have to be with him and guarantee and just lock myself to be his forever. I have my right. You think i have to wait and just marry the guy who comes to house and discuss about the engagement and proposal like you used to when you were young? We don't have that tradition now... I'm me,i have right." after i finished my words,i realized how over i am and i saw mom don't wish to continue the conversation already. I hurt her. Because thats how my mom get married. My mom didn't couple with my dad for a long time. They just did the traditional one. My heart was aching, and i can see how bad my mom feel...

See,me and my mom talked a lot about this and its like today is the thousand times... And no wonder i get mad when we talked about this... Because mom insists to her decision,but so do i. I hope she understands my condition. I'm happy that my mom blesses my relationship with him but i've to admit i can't stand any longer if his mother keep talking my bad thing as if i did a big big mistakes. His mother keeps on having a bad impression about me... And everytime there is a problem,i'm the one who has to bare the pain. Even my boyfriend didn't stand by my side... I know why he did that because thats his mother but people makes mistakes,so do his mother... Why he didn't corrected her... Haih, everytime i prayed to God.. I shared and i let him decide the time and the solution. I'm hoping so that God gives a way for this problem. But i guess the time haven't come yet. I afraid when God prepares the way, i'm on my way to give up cause its very hard to endure all the pain...

Mom,i hope you understand me. I'm so sorry for being rude to you. I love you mom,a lot...forgive me.